Hey pals,
We’re wrapping up 2022 and I really tried to think if I had anything to say about that. I don’t! Let’s talk about pop music.
Now that we’ve gotten to know each other a little bit over the last couple of months, I’m going to tell you straightforwardly that this is my beat. I absolutely love comparative literature analysis of hit music, deep dives into pop culture niches, stuff like that. While this is my first essay on the topic, please know that I have much to share with you, like an analysis on Charli XCX’s driving record through song, why “No Hands” is the perfect example of a group project, etc. For now, I am diving into a genre I am calling “crime pop.”
The premise of crime pop is simple. I realized a while back that a lot of pop singers love confessing to crimes in their songs. Some are minor, like petty theft, while some are more serious, like DWI or assault. There are dozens of examples of this, some more egregious than others. Of course, songs like “What Do You Mean” by Justin Bieber and “Blurred Lines” by that guy who looks like Nick Lachey but isn’t are obviously icky and have been hotly debated in the culture for their ambiguous perspectives on consent. Those songs are gross. Instead, I’d like to focus on some other songs that I think really make this genre shine. I’ll note the song as well as the crime associated. I’ll be doing some deep legal research to figure out which crime would most likely be charged using the song as evidence. Here is an example of my process:
“Fever” by Carly Rae Jepsen - Burglary and Theft
In this song, Carly laments the end of what seems to be a relationship that she felt more strongly about than her former partner. So what does she do? She breaks into the dude’s house and steals his bike. I do not know why she steals his bike. Nor do I understand why she would just openly admit to it! An eye for an eye, a heart for a bike. Later in the song, she sings:
Girl, he’s out looking for his bike! He could be filling out a police report, and when this song is released you’ll be caught red handed! I love Carly, but this is just reckless.
“Break the Rules” by Charli XCX - Truancy
There’s plenty of crime pop in the Charli XCX canon, but we’ll start here. If you want to skip school to party with your friends, that’s your prerogative in my opinion, but not to the criminal justice system. And there is no better way to get caught than openly admitting to it in a pop song.
My main issue with this song is this: what discotheque is open during school hours? I might be calling myself out as a goody-two-shoes nerd over here, which I ABSOLUTELY am, but aren’t clubs open at night? I would think that you could simply go after school. You would probably have time to get your homework done before going out, and be done partying in time to eat a breakfast pastry and get to class. Charli’s message here is definitely pro-crime, which I love, but skipping school seems to be the only obvious rule she’s breaking, although there’s property destruction to boot in the music video.
“Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift - Reckless Endangerment
I’m not a Taylor Swift fan (do NOT come for me!!!) so I do feel like I’ve heard about a lot of crime pop from her, but I’m not familiar with most of her oeuvre. That said, I heard this song for the first time in a while recently and I think it qualifies as baby-shaking. Shaking babies hurts them, Taylor!
“Homemade Dynamite” by Lorde - Possession of Explosives, Destruction of Property
I think it’s illegal to make your own dynamite, actually. At the very least I’d think you need a permit. Lorde doesn’t specify what exactly they’re blowing up either and whether they’re on her own property, but all things considered, I doubt it. She does also mention later on encouraging a friend who seems to be intoxicated to drive and then they get in a car wreck, so really this song is full of poor decision-making on Lorde’s part, as well as a variety of offenses. There are similar issues in the remix. Take a look at Khalid’s verse:
Please wear a seatbelt!
Honorable Mentions:
“Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood - Vandalism, Destruction of Property
“Cannibal” by Kesha - uhhhh Cannibalism!
“Dark Horse” by Katy Perry feat. Juicy J - Also Cannibalism!
There’s many more crime pop songs than I could ever cover here, so I’ve made a playlist you can listen to here with more. Let me know if I missed any! You can also find a playlist here with songs about driving, which I compiled in honor of Tyler getting her license. We are both Apple Music users, but I made a Spotify account just for this, so you’re welcome.
See you in 2023!
xoxo,
Caitlin
(P.S. Mark us as “Not Spam” and tell your friends to subscribe! It’s a holiday so no threats this week.)